Friends

We need friends. It’s a hard truth for some, but with the way life can get, it’s always a good idea to have someone to turn to that won’t judge. We need someone to call or text random discoveries that we found in the thrift store or to let them help you sort out those crazy late night philosophical thoughts that occur to us moments before a good night’s seep. It’s important to have friends that will help shape you into the person you want to be. To have support in during hard times and difficult decisions. I would argue that it is essential for everyone to have, at the bare minimum, three friends they can talk to.

Now I am not talking about Facebook friends, let’s be honest, we know that for the most part those people are just there because you know OF them. Not because you actually KNOW them. I am talking about friends who have you your back. Those who don’t judge you or criticize you. I am talking about the kind of friends that don’t condescendingly say their opinions about your situation or life choices with the intent of trying to show that they think you are dumb.

Because you are not.

You don’t NEED those people. They aren’t actual friends. They have a dark side to them. Whether or not they are malicious, jealous (most often the case), ‘holier than thou’ (second most often the case) etc., they really don’t need to be in your life. If it’s a negative ‘friendship’, then let it go.

I have a select few people I can trust with my life choices and personal endeavors. I tell them what’s going on and 95% of the time I can tell you what their response will be because I know that well enough too. If they see I am ready to face a certain battle in my life and I need support, they don’t come at me with anything but that. And that, my dear, is a true gift from God. I have been able, with time and learned mistakes, to have the wisdom to know who to say certain things to. And my  life is no longer everyone’s business.

My illustration was brought on from a visit with a good friend of mine. She put our friendship into words that perfectly described her and I. She said “Our friendship is good because it doesn’t require work” From a third party perspective, that sounds like we don’t do anything for each other. But it is the complete opposite and I knew exactly what she meant.

It meant that we don’t have to try to be anything but ourselves. We don’t have a ‘one up’ competition friendship. We don’t ramble on about nothingness just to fill in whatever silence may be happening with us. We don’t even have to call, text or talk to each other all the time. We’ve gone months without talking and when one of us text the other, we just picked up where we left off. It’s a genuine friendship and because of it I never really feel alone and neither does she.

 

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