I have to say, the feedback I got from my previous post ‘The Second Civil War’, was relieving. Now, I didn’t have hundreds of readers comment me saying its the best writing ever and they are sitting on the edge of their seats, waiting for me to continue (although that would rock my socks off!), but the little bit I did get, was positive and helpful. So, naturally, it was encouraging and kept me wanting to write more.
I was really nervous about my writing. I have always wanted to write and have filled many notebooks with stories that varied in genre. Instead of publishing it on the internet or in a book, I just left them there. Just untold stories, some with characters that have no names and unfinished dialogues. I lacked confidence in my writing, even though I have such a passion for it. I was more fearful or publishing my writing than I was my artwork.
With artwork, the reaction is immediate. The image you see makes you feels something , or nothing, right away and then you move on. With writing, there’s more to it. Time is invested in reading the story and then thinking about what was just read. For whatever reason, I was always intimidated to ask people, ‘Hey, read this please.’ I had this irrational fear that if they didn’t like it, they would be mad at me for even thinking about wasting their time to give them such garbage, even though they were willing to read it anyway.
At one point, I stopped my writing all together. Never bothered to attempt to write down any cool story ideas or even draw character designs for some awesome hero I just conjured up in my head. Now of course, I regret that because I could’ve at least had those ideas tucked away some where for the chance to have them written out. But at the time, I just didn’t see a future in writing for me, so I just didn’t see the point.
I had (still kind of have some left) self-doubt and fear about something I not only enjoyed, but that made me feel good about myself. I was realizing that in the end, I was wasting my own time with dreaming and not following through. So I stopped. Literally. I told myself, enough is enough, go for it and stop doing it, which is why I started writing my first story and later decided to write an online fiction.
So if you have any doubts about your dreams and passions, remember, you are not alone. Everyone does feel this way and it’s just a matter of your will getting in the way. There is an audience for everything out there. Maybe you’ll have to dig a little bit and network yourself a lot (A LOT!), but it will be worth it in the end because you did in fact do something for yourself and your passion. Following dreams wasn’t meant to be easy, otherwise everyone would do it. But don’t completely discard your passion because you think that no one could care about it. If you truly care about it enough, it will show through in what you do and then it really won’t feel like work.
What are your dreams?