Yesterday was mothers day and also one of my little ones birthday. We didn’t do too much considering we are still in transition for our move, but still managed a few gifts, cupcakes, and a trip to the zoo playground. During each endeavor, I endured an astronomical amount of whining, sibling rivalry, and overall discontentment and all the while I was thinking, “it’s mothers day/ their sister’s birthday. Why of all days do they need to be this way?”
It got me thinking that maybe to my own kids, mothers day was undeserved to their own mother. Maybe they felt at the thought of mom being celebrated for today on their sister’s birthday was unfair or even, dare I say, pointless. After all, why only make it a big deal to celebrate mothers day one day of the year? Why not every Tuesday, or twice a month, or give her Saturday morning breakfast in bed? Why bother giving mom this one day of the year?
The obvious answer is because it is deserved. Moms go through an awful lot and often get a bad rap. We are judged by other moms and society, told what to do with every stage of motherhood, how to present ourselves and everything in between. So ONE day out of the year is not a lot to ask for, right? No it’s not. Here is the problem though. When someone that shows you unwavering love and support, the very least that can be done is giving them one day of happiness and relaxation. So why on earth didn’t my kids get that?
I laid down in my bed last night reflecting on the day. It started out well, they bought me candy and a card and made me some coffee. My mom made breakfast for us all and I cleaned up. Then sometime between that and saying happy birthday to my daughter, things went south. Older ones had fight after fight with an unlimited supply of back talk while the little ones just whined over everything. Per the birthday girls request, we went to the playground and I thought that this would help ease some tension. And I was so very wrong. We got home after and got ready for and went to church and came back for something quick to eat and a cupcake and went to bed.
Nothing unusual stood out. No one was really upset at anything particular and it really felt like one of those off days for the kids. Usually when that happens, I chalk it up as another day and sleep well at night. But because it was mothers day and a birthday, I felt that I deserved more than that. And that’s where I found the problem.
I spend day after day teaching my kids that if you love someone you should show them as much as possible. And as their mother, it’s important that we establish a relationship on trust, listening, communication and mutual respect. I teach them that love is a choice and an action and not just a feeling. So while they didn’t really focus on the day that was supposed to be dedicated to all moms or in our situation, me, I didn’t and shouldn’t feel unappreciated by my kids.
Like I’ve stated, we are in the middle of a move and it took me a couple weeks to pack, but they helped. We were trying to say byes to all of our friends and drive all over town day after day, through their tears, there wasn’t a single complaint. Some mornings they wake up before me and fed themselves and each other and I got a cup of tea or coffee. They ask me how I am feeling or let me take a nap without being loud. They do their chores through grumbling, but they do get done. They say sorry when they mess up. They hug me for no reason. They help with the baby if I am on the phone. They offer to help with dinner. They play games with each other. They take care of the dogs. They do their school work with minimal complaints.
I could list so much more but the point of listing at all was to show that although they may not have taken mothers day as serious as I would’ve liked, they take loving me and helping in the house pretty serious day to day. They of course still have moments throughout the days where they are grumpy or mouthy, but I can count on them to regularly get it together and make the day work for themselves and the rest of the family.
So when I went through the happenings of yesterday and then thought about how they are normally, I decided to chalk it up as an off day once again and went to sleep. And I am glad I did, this morning they woke up or were woken up, ate breakfast and started school with zero complaint and with good moods. Three hours later, the 3 that are still finishing up school for the school year are done and helping out with lunch.
Happy belated mothers day maybe?